Before you play the record you must adjust the playing speed, otherwise John Wetton will sound like one of the Chipmunks. The playing speed is measured in revolutions per minute, or "RPM." Long-playing records are played at 33 RPM. Actually 33 and a third. You used to be able to buy one song at a time and those records were smaller and played at 45 RPM, but it was more fun to listen to them at 33 because it made everyone sound like Barry White drowning in maple syrup.

How's it sound? Great! Except for the music.